Maybe it’s the hormones, maybe it’s just straight up frustration, and I just really need to vent, but the last few weeks have been testing my last nerves!
For all my life I’ve had a type” A” personality, always over analyzing, researching every aspect of a product or practice, to the point where I’m obsessive and can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve give a 1000% of myself to whatever is in front of me. I give my all in everything I do! I can never just be somewhat into something, I either do it with all my passion and drive or I don’t do it at ALL.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant I tried to do everything right. Research, avoid bad food, workout, and avoid dangerous situations to make sure my baby and I are healthy. However, somewhere along the way everything back-fired, and find myself lost at what steps to take next. During my first trimester (from week 8-16) I had extreme nausea to the point of needing medication just to function. During the second trimester (from week 23-now) I’ve struggled with painful sciatic nerve/back pain which prevented me from walking on my own for a week. I feel so dependent on my husband. He is an incredible, patient man that not only vowed to take good care of me, but has acted this out since we have been married, and even while we were dating. I couldn’t be more grateful for him.
After not being able to walk for almost a week I wasn’t able to return back to work till last Wednesday, and having to deal with stress from my corporate HR has almost pushed me to the edge. I can’t understand how people can be so compassionate & cold. I hate the fact I can’t contact someone face to face as our corporate office is all the way across the country, with a 3 hour time difference. I also, although some co-workers had my best intentions at heart, they questioned why I came back still in pain. They said “you know you and your baby’s health is most important”, as if I didn’t know or didn’t think about it. HELLO people, of course our health is my priority, but I had to come back in order to also provide!
Bringing a baby into this world is the most joyous occasion in any woman’s life, but also super emotional. I’ve had my ups and downs throughout this pregnancy, and the struggles and pain I’ve had to feel is something I cannot prevent or avoid. I’ve done, and will continue to do my best throughout my pregnancy to help protect and provide for me and baby, sometimes emotions take over and the only thing that helps is to vent a little or a lot as I’ve done to help get pass these tough situations. I know I’m not the only one to go through these trials of pregnancy, but when it happens I need to remind myself to keep going and keep my priorities in line. The verse that’s gotten me through these last couple months-Romans 8:18.